10 Famous Witches & Warlocks Ranked by Paddleboarding Ability

The Wicked Witch of the West is a character most famously known from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, based on Frank Oz’s classic 1900 book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. We would know that pointy black hat and slime-colored skin anywhere!

The Wicked Witch is at the bottom of our leaderboard for one very important reason: water makes her melt! One rogue splash, and she’d be nothing more than a pile of soggy robes. The odds of her making it to the end of the Witches Paddle without getting a drop of water on her? Slim to none. Good night, sweet witch.

The White Witch rules the world of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series for 1,000 years with eternal frost and unyielding determination. She has a nasty habit of turning her enemies to stone, and luring children into committing familial betrayal with Turkish delights.

Sounds pretty powerful, right? Wrong! The White Witch’s eternal winter and Turkish delight bribes are no match for Morro Bay’s endless summer vibes. Let’s face it— she’s packing up her sleigh and heading somewhere colder before she ever picks up a paddle.

Ganondorf is a main villain in The Legend of Zelda franchise. When he’s not being a final boss, he enjoys kidnapping princesses, taking over the Kingdom of Hyrule, and continuing his quest to control the almighty Triforce of Power.

Now, Ganondorf is a strong and powerful fellow. However! Paddleboarding may require more dexterity than even the Triforce can grant. With his desert upbringing, Ganondorf would also likely flounder in open water— and good luck balancing his massive frame on a standard paddleboard. Unless he unlocks the “Triforce of Floaties,” we’re betting he‘ll sink like a sack of spuds.

The Sanderson Sisters— Winifred, Mary, and Sarah — are a trio of powerful 17th century witches from the 1993 Disney film Hocus Pocus. After the main character accidentally resurrects them, they spend the rest of the movie trying to find ingredients for their special immortality potion, cursing adults to dance until they die, and flying on household items instead of broomsticks, among other bewitching hijinks.

While it’s true that the Sanderson Sisters are one of the most powerful covens in history, paddleboarding requires teamwork—and let’s just say that’s not their strong suit. We foresee that their constant bickering will capsize their board before you can say “sistahhhhs!”

Ursula is a scheming sea witch from the 1989 Disney film The Little Mermaid, and based on a character from the 1837 fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson of the same name. In an attempt to thwart King Triton’s rule over the ocean, Ursula agrees to transform Ariel into a human for three days. And I think we all know how that turned out!

You’d think a sea witch like Ursula would dominate this event, right? Wrong! Even though she’s half octopus, she is 100% drama. All plot, no paddle, if you will. We expect her to lose interest in the event halfway through and go back to doing what she does best— putting on iconic performances in her underwater boudoir!

As the villainous Royal Vizier in Disney’s classic 1992 animated film Aladdin, Jafar is always seeking ways to manipulate the Sultan and snatch more power in the Arabian city of Agrabah. He goes head-to-head with Aladdin, but ultimately learns that a hypnotic staff is nothing against a clever street kid and a genie voiced by Robin Williams.

Jafar is never afraid to play dirty to get what he wants, and his agility makes him a worthy paddleboarding adversary. Despite this, we can’t shake the feeling that his penchant for evil theatrics (including but not limited to: turning into a giant snake) will ultimately be his downfall. Paddleboarding requires balance— both on the board and in temperament— and we can already see Jafar getting tangled in his own dramatics long before he reaches the end of the Witches Paddle.

Kiki is the main character in the 1989 Studio Ghibli movie Kiki’s Delivery Service. The movie follows her journey toward independence and identity as she delivers packages on her broomstick as a witch-in-training.

Kiki has all the makings of a paddleboarding pro— she’s nimble, quick on her feet, and is used to handling pesky breezes throwing off her balance. Her biggest obstacle? Staying calm and confident on the water. If she can keep the self-doubt at bay, we think Kiki could turn every wave into smooth sailing.

Hermione Granger is one of the main heroes of the Harry Potter series, using her intelligence, curiosity, and cunning to get her and her pals out of sticky situations throughout their time at Hogwarts and beyond.

Let’s first acknowledge that Hermione is not known for her athletic prowess. Still, don’t forget that Hermione is the brightest witch of her age— if there’s a technique to master, you can bet she’s going to study it until she’s the very best. If she can get the precision of paddleboarding down, she may just have the Witches Paddle on lock (no Alohomora required!).

Gandalf is the traveler, wise wizard, and protector of Middle Earth from the Lord of the Rings series. He also happens to be a massively powerful immortal spirit who is thousands upon thousands of years old! Using his knowledge and mastery of magic, he’s battled treasure-hungry dragons, evil wizards, and giant fire demons in the depths of the Misty Mountains.

Navigating the waters of Morro Bay would be a walk in the Shire for someone like Gandalf. Plus, we know from his travels that Gandalf has better-than-average endurance. Wandering Middle Earth is no easy task, after all! The only reason he doesn’t cinch first place is because we also know that Gandalf shows up exactly when you need him, and not a moment sooner.

Tia Dalma plays a key role in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, serving as a mysterious sea witch with a deep knowledge of the sea, magic, and forces beyond human understanding. It’s later revealed that she’s actually Calypso, the sea goddess herself, trapped in mortal form.

Ding ding ding, we have our winner! The ocean is literally Tia Dalma’s whole thing; if she can resist the urge to transform herself into a bunch of crabs, the Witches Paddle is hers to enjoy. When the tides literally bend to your will, being able to stay on a paddleboard is more of a formality anyway.

There you have it— our ranking of witches and warlocks who’d either flourish or flop during Morro Bay’s annual Witches and Warlocks Paddle. We invite you to break out your own broomstick and mark your calendar for this enchanting community event! Who knows? You might even discover some magic of your own out on the water.

Click here to learn more about the Morro Bay Witches and Warlocks Paddle!